Do you ever think about the way you sleep at night? It’s not just a matter of being cosy. In fact, we tend to settle into the same basic sleeping position every night – as a result of our subconscious needs. Professor Chris Idzikowski has catalogued the links between sleeping positions and aspects of our personality. Mind you, you may not recognise yourself – because our conscious image of ourselves often conflicts with our underlying desires…
Sleeping on your side indicates that your personality centres around adaptability. If your arms are close to you and relaxed, you generally go with the flow. Men who favour this position are usually mild-mannered, rational – and more often than not generous lovers. If both arms tend to be straight down alongside you, your easygoing, sociable and flexible style tends towards trust. Even of strangers – and to the point of gullibility. It’s important for you to be a part of the in-crowd – and girls who sleep in this position are more likely to have sex on the first date! If your arms are usually outstretched in front of you, then although you have an open nature, you can be cynical and suspicious. You don’t buy chat-up lines – or like making rushed decisions. But once decided, you’re unlikely to change. You like to get the most out of life, but won’t sacrifice everything to get ahead.
If you appear tough on the outside, yet underneath you’re vulnerable and sensitive, then it’s likely you sleep curled up in the foetal position. You long for security, intimacy and joy. You’re sociable, although you may be shy when you first meet somebody. You soon relax though, and in your intimate relationships, you’re likely to be willing to try new things – although you can be quite demanding in some situations. You’re often a great source of advice for your friends and family. This is the most popular position, especially for women, while men tend to sleep in this position if they’re feeling insecure.
Face-up sleepers have personalities that centre around a confident, outgoing and optimistic approach to life. They tend to be go-getters who succeed, although they can be big-headed and self-centred. Men who prefer to sleep face up usually have great confidence and sex appeal, crave new experiences and challenges in life – and are often vain! If your arms are usually at your sides like a soldier, then you probably tend towards being quieter and more reserved, don’t like a fuss and avoid conflict. Nevertheless, you set high standards for yourself and the people around you. Sleeping sprawled out with arms outstretched or up around the pillow also suggests you shy away from the spotlight and prefer not to demand attention. But you make good friends, because you’re always ready to listen to others and offer help when needed.
If you consistently choose a face down position, you’re likely to be expressive, creative, focused and highly organised. With strong beliefs and ideals. You like to have things done your way – and maybe you’re a bit of a control freak. You constantly strive for perfection – in work, sport and friendships – and are successful and very loyal to your friends and family. But you’re sensitive to criticism, and tend to shy away from commitment. Men who sleep face down tend to be full of passion and energy and very hands on. They tend to dominate relationships. If your hands tend to be around the pillow or by the side of your head, it’s likely you’re gregarious and maybe even a little brash, but you can also be nervous and sensitive to criticism.
The way couples sleep together says a lot about their relationship too – although a few of us still have to put up with our partners adopting the most bizarre positions. Some women really do fall sleep with their legs in the air!
At the very beginning of a relationship and during periods of intense passion, it’s common for couples to sleep fully embracing one another, faces close, arms and legs intertwined – as if they can’t bear to be apart. But it can also implies dependency, and some people find it stifling. And here are all sorts of problems with this position. Like cramp in your arm and having to put up with ‘morning breath’!
By far the most practical intimate position is the ‘spoons’. Both you and your partner sleep on your sides, facing in the same direction and touching just about everywhere. This position implies your relationship’s close, secure and comforting and shows a willingness to expose your vulnerabilities to each other. Even where there’s slightly more space between the two of you, you’re still emotionally and physically linked by an arm or a leg. The more dominant partner usually ends up on the outside, and sees the other as needing nurturing. Whoever’s holding the other the tightest is likely to be the less confident of the two.
A position that’s often seen during difficulties in a relationship has one partner lying sprawled on their back whilst the other snuggles-up. Partners generally swap between who lies on their back, reflecting the changing roles within the relationship. With one partner providing the sense of comfort and safety needed by the other. But if this position is more or less permanent, it implies that the one lying on their back is the more dominant partner, whilst the one snuggling-up is either submitting to their dominance – or craving attention.
Another popular position has both of you lying any which way, but remaining linked together by a leg. It can imply shyness or difficulty expressing affection – as if the contact is occurring by accident – and is especially common after a fight. A first touch to negotiate a truce. The position suggests a practical level to your relationship, and is also probably one of the healthiest sleeping positions there is psychologically. It shows comfort, friendship and confidence in each other – but at the same time, a healthy sense of independence. Each allowing the other have their own space in the relationship.
Some couples sleep quite separately, on opposite sides of the bed. Fine if you start the night together and drift off later as you sleep. Not everyone’s comfortable being held all night. But if this is how you start and end the night, with no contact at all, then it suggests there may be some problems in the relationship. Maybe there are issues between you, or one of you is having difficulties such as stress, anxiety or grief. But don’t worry too much. It’s also a common position where one of the partners has annoying habits such as snoring, kicking – or falling asleep with their legs in the air!
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